This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
