i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
