Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
