man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
