last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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