almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize