Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize