I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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