U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
