either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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