Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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