and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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