He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
