I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
