i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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