They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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