Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
whose parrot is this?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
