would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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