I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
