idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
