Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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