You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
