Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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