I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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