sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
