Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
