My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
