you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
