she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Randomize
