You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
this just has baby written all over it
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
