I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we're making bets on your personal life
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
