She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Come on in and take your pants off
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