first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
