i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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