what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
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