i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Randomize
