I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm bleeding and have questions
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
