normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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