Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
