sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
