Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
