she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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