So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
