Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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