She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
