I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
