My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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