come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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