We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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