Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
