I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
