I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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