she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
