I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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