If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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