Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
