I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
