I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
